


Benefits with friends

by pateshie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon - Manga, Friendship, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 06:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pateshie/pseuds/pateshie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set somewhere in Chapter 53; the questions in his head won't let Eren sleep and Levi is the perfect distraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Benefits with friends

“I feel like I can’t trust anyone now.”

A draft sweeps through the kitchen and Eren wraps his arms around his knees, curled up under the big, wooden table. 

“Yeah, well, what choice do we have? We can’t stop fighting.” He frowns. “Hange-san seems to think we’re getting closer to the answer. In the meantime, it’s our duty to do what we can.”

It’s dark and Eren feels more than sees Armin nodding next to him. His friends’ startling blue eyes are wide and miserable. It’s a little past midnight and the rest of the survivors are draped all over the house, trying to get some rest. From the litany of whispers and sighs that carries over to them, Eren deduces the others are struggling as much as they are – so much has happened over the past 24 hours. Even if Eren’s body is aching with exhaustion, his mind is still reeling, which makes sleep a distant possibility. 

“What do you think though?” Armin presses on. “It’s pretty clear those titans were responding to you. Did you do something different this time?”

“Not that I know of,” he says shortly. The Armin of the war is noticeably different from the Armin of his childhood – he’s relentless in his pursuit of knowledge, almost Hange-like now and while Eren would like nothing more than to provide the answers to his questions, he’s irritated at the insinuation that he’s choosing to hide them. He’s as lost as anyone else.

“What about plugging the wall? What if you can’t figure out how to do that ei–”

“Fuck, my leg’s cramping up. I’m going to stretch it out, walk around for a bit.”

He climbs out from under the table and turns around to find the blonde watching him anxiously. 

“Eren,” he says softly.

“I’m fine. Make sure you get some sleep, okay?” Somehow he manages to pull his lips into a smile, and he probably looks like a murderer, but Armin just nods obediently and he walks away, relieved and a little guilty.

The questions that Armin hadn’t been able to hold back are troubling him too. But the past few days have taken their toll on him, and he just wants to give his mind a break. Shivering in his thin shirt, he walks up to one of the windows and takes in the view. 

They’re deep in the middle of the forest, on top of a modest hill. The moon is shining strongly over it all, untouched by the few lazy clouds drifting in the sky. 

A movement on the right catches his eye. 

Two familiar figures are leaning against the banister of the watchtower – one with an unruly head of hair and one who is noticeably shorter. They seem to be deep in conversation, their words a distant, indecipherable mumble. The glass fogs up where Eren is pressed against it. 

It’s odd to see the two most senior members of the squad doing something even the lowest soldier could manage. But, he supposes, it’s the one place they can talk freely. After a few seconds of deliberation he decides to join them. He’s earned it after all – their trust and their companionship.

He makes his way down the corridor, turning where it turns till he reaches a door in the wall. Wrapping his fingers around the handle, he pushes it open.

“Eren!” Hange snaps her fingers. “We were just talking about you!”

Suddenly he’s wondering if he’s made the wrong decision but it’s too late to turn back now – the Corporal’s stare has him pinned in place.

“So I’m not disturbing you?” he says sheepishly and Hange shakes her head vigorously. He makes his way over to them, the rickety wooden walkway creaking under his boots.

“Of course not,” she booms, glasses askew. “In fact, we’re probably going to be disturbing you a lot starting tomorrow so let me apologize in advance.”

“Um, it’s alright?” His eyes dart to the Corporal for help but the older man is busy staring at his comrade and shaking his head.

“Glasses, you’re scaring the shit out of him.”

Hange looks genuinely confused. “But I’m just being nice!”

“As nice as you can be, considering the things you have planned,” Levi says dryly. “Forgive us, Jaeger, we’re running out of time so we might have to skip the niceties.”

Hange nods, her expression sympathetic. “Under normal circumstances, I would’ve run these tests over weeks but things are different now.”

“It’s alright, I’m ready.” 

Levi raises his eyebrows and Eren shrugs.

“It’s not like I don’t want this. If we can figure out how I can produce that crystal, it’ll be easier for me to kick those traitors’ asses.”

“That’s my Eren,” Hange says, beaming. His hair comes flying into his eyes as she locks an enthusiastic arm around his neck and rubs her palm across his head. Levi watches them impassively, ignoring the way Eren’s eyes are starting to bug out.

“Hange-san,” he gasps, “I can’t breathe.”

“Sorry!” She pulls away immediately; her hands land on his shoulders and her brown eyes scan his face. “You look tired. You should rest, you have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“All of us do,” Levi says.

Hange nods. “Get to bed soon, alright? I’m going now, I can’t risk being sleep deprived tomorrow and accidentally doing something that kills you. Goodnight!” she ends cheerfully and Eren parrots it, trying to ignore the rest of her words. She’s too smart to do that, right?

“Stop worrying, Jaeger, I can’t risk you peeing your only clean pair of pants.”

Eren fights back a laugh. “You really like your toilet humor, huh, Corporal?”

“It’s a nice break from all the serious conversations we have, excluding Hanji’s of course,” Levi muses. “Kill the titans, save mankind, feed the poor – it’s all so heavy. Sometimes a bit of shit actually cleans things up.”

Either Levi’s injury isn’t restricted to his ankle or Eren has caught him in one of his more talkative moods.

“Right,” he says slowly. “Speaking of titans, Corporal, I–” He falters a bit when Levi turns the full weight of his gaze on him.

“You?”

“I, I’m confused,” he admits finally. “I’m really confused. To think that Bertholt, and Reiner and Ymir too! I feel like I don’t understand anything anymore.” His fists clench by his sides. “How could they betray us like that? Fuck that, did they even betray us, were they ever even on our side?” He scoffs. “They made fools of us for three years. Surely they can make fools of us again?”

“Probably,” Levi says coolly. “But like Hanji said earlier, we’re not completely clueless. You saw what they did. You saw them kill our soldiers. Until we know better, treat them like the enemy.”

“Easier said than done,” Eren mumbles.

“Isn’t everything?” Levi says with a tight smile. His eyes stay unmoved as ever and Eren thinks back, to the kitchen a few hours ago, and what Hange had said – the look on their Corporal’s face when she proposed all titans had once been human. As soldiers, they do what they do to defend all humanity. How were they supposed to feel knowing this? How did this make them any better than the titans themselves?

A weight settles over his shoulders and it takes him a second to realize what it is.

“You were cold,” Levi says casually, stepping back. His jacket is now draped around Eren. It smells like soap and sweat, almost comforting in how grown-up it is and he pulls it tight around himself, surprised. The gesture is oddly uncharacteristic for the Corporal but a lot of things have changed since they last talked. 

“Don’t give me that look,” Levi mutters. “We can’t afford for you to fall sick.” He turns away, his eyes looking out into the night. The silence that follows is companionable and though Eren knows the questions will be back to haunt him tomorrow, his Corporal’s glibness has assuaged them for now. 

He tips his head back. The moon is directly above them now and the inky sky around it is dotted with stars. They twinkle down at him gentle and for a moment, they’re almost enough for him to forget where he is.

“In the old days, they used to claim there are people who live in the stars,” he whispers. 

“What?” Through the corner of his eye, he can see the other man follow his gaze.

“Armin told me, he read it in one of his father’s books. They said that if there are other places like our world, there must be other people like us too.”

“Well then I hope at least they’re free of this menace.” Levi laughs. “What bullshit! We don’t even know what lies beyond the wall; how the hell would they know what lies beyond the sky? Just stick to what you know, brat.”

Eren frowns down at the forest, his bubble effectively burst.

“Are you gonna sulk now?” Levi drawls.

“No,” he grits out. “I was just trying to make conversation.”

“Bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“You’re awake.” He looks at the other man. In the moonlight, the dark shadows beneath his eyes are even starker.

“I can’t sleep, I’ve never really been able to,” Levi explains unperturbed and Eren balks. He can’t imagine what it’s like to stay up – is this what humanity’s greatest soldier does night after night, watching over them when they’re at their weakest?

“Hange won’t go easy on you, you know,” Levi says after a pause. “I’ve heard she’s brought a lot of spoons.” The edge of his mouth quirks and Eren can’t help but laugh.

“I think I’m less territorial about my spoons now.”

“Speaking of territorial, how’s Mikasa?”

“Fine.”

“Good, we’re going to need her. It’s so annoying, seeing a soldier like her lose all hope over a shitty brat like you.”

“If I remember correctly, I am all the hope you have.” Eren smirks, leaning against the edge of the watchtower. By now he knows the Corporal is all bark and no bite. Well, mostly no bite. Sometimes his jaw still tingles when he thinks about the punch that had knocked a tooth out.

“You are.” Levi seems to think about it for a second. “We’re fucked, aren’t we?”

“Maybe,” Eren concedes. “But like you said, there’s no way to know till the end, right? I might not be able to plug the hole in the wall but I sure as hell am going to try. And if I can’t do it, I’ll make sure I kill as many of those shitfaces as I can before I go down.”

“Eloquent as you are, Jaeger, I’d prefer if you just plugged the wall.” 

“Yes, sir.” Eren grips the jacket tighter. 

Levi regards him for a moment or two, the way he is then – a young child swathed by a military jacket, determination burning in his eyes. “People in the stars, huh?” he says without malice.

“Yeah.” Eren shrugs sheepishly. “It’s a nice thought.”

“I admit, sometimes I’ve wondered if there are cities beyond the wall. As far as we know, the land beyond is covered with titans. But maybe there are other people, maybe they’ve found other ways to survive.”

“But what if they haven’t?” Eren says alarmed. “What if they’re waiting for us?”

“They might not even know we exist.”

“Great, more people to fight for.” Eren’s shoulders slump.

“People,” Levi repeats softly. “We don’t really spend too much time thinking about them, do we? We’re not all the same but to the titans we are. I wonder if we taste good.”

“Corporal,” Eren says uneasily.

“Sorry.” The other man sighs. “I’m not very fond of people.”

“But you’re humanity’s greatest soldier!”

“I think it’s quite obvious I didn’t coin that name.” Levi wrinkles his nose. “But to be clear, since you’re one dumb brat, humanity and mankind are two different things. Humanity is compassion; it’s giving people the basic dignity they deserve. In terms you’d understand, it means not eating them as snacks. Do I want to defend that? Yes, of course.”

“And mankind?”

Levi frowns. “Mankind is everyone, isn’t it? Even the sniveling, cowardly idiots who swarm the capital. Once we’re done with titans, I can turn to them. I’d like that,” he says wistfully.

Eren stares at him.

“I don’t expect you to understand,” he murmurs, examining the fingernails on his left hand. “You’re just a teenager after all.”

Eren knows this is his way of saying the discussion is over. Levi only comes for his age when he wants to avoid him. It’s strange but by now, he’s oddly familiar with the older man. Some part of him had always paid attention to the skilled soldier but somewhere along the way, it had stopped discriminating. He knows the average number of kills Levi makes per expedition. He also knows the way he likes his tea. 

For some reason, the Corporal on his part never shuts him out. Their little arrangement after all demands a considerable amount of trust from either side. In different circumstances, Eren thinks they could have been great friends. He’s mature for his age and Levi is a good mentor. But constantly cheating death leaves little time for life.

“I guess I should go to bed now.” He starts shrugging the jacket off his shoulders.

“Keep it,” Levi says, looking at him. “You won’t be able to sleep if you’re cold.”

“Thank you, sir.” He bows his head and starts walking back, wondering whether the kitchen bench is still up for grabs.

“Hey, brat.”

He turns around, eyes curious.

“Yes, sir?”

“Make sure you don't let anyone kill you, okay? That’s a privilege only I should have.” Levi smiles and Eren feels a shiver run through him that has nothing to do with the cold.

“Yes, sir.”

Levi turns to peer down the hillside, his back to the young shifter. “Goodnight, Jaeger.”

“Goodnight, sir.”


End file.
